Life on Pause: Relationships


I am 34 years old – funny – i almost wrote 32… Time flies when you are having fun. Or was I having fun?…

When you are a teenager, you think you know everything. Then you find out- you didn’t know anything at all. Once you hit your 20’s, you start going to the almighty wise ones- your parents. It is funny, how you realize-they are probably some of the wisest people you know- aside from your grandparents. I sometimes wish I didn’t say some of the things I did as a teenager -or get angry when I did. I think my parents have forgiven me by now…I know that they were only looking out after my best interest…

Relationships in life are tricky. After being with someone for 15 years, I thought I had all the answers. Life proved me wrong. And so did they.

Not everyone knows my story. And in my opinion, not everybody needs to know. Although, those closest to me, know the road I was on, and where I am headed now. Those who have made assumptions- I will let them, but they will never know my experience-unless they ask me.

When I was a young girl, I wanted a prince to rescue me- bring me roses, treat me like a princess, hold my hand, kiss me under the stars and give me his coat if I was cold. I had dreams like most girls. I have to say, I was quite disappointed, when all of those dreams I once had – withered away. I did get my hand held – and I did get roses once…I am still waiting to be kissed under the stars…

Fifteen years later – I am now, well, going through something somewhat difficult. Some people might say I was giving up. I’d like to say I was making a stand, and hopefully – becoming a stronger person. It hasn’t been easy. But I have learned one thing- Relationships are definitely not what you set them out to be.

I am learning – that you have to be willing to learn, compromise, have an open mind and communicate in a relationship – and actually -that isn’t just in romantic ones- Those are important for all relationships.

It’s not easy walking away from something you spent so much time trying to build. And I can’t say that I don’t have memories when I fall asleep at night. They don’t just go away. It was a life that you took time to create, build and work on…. But sometimes- that brick wall that gets put up- it just can’t be broken down- no matter how hard you try. I kicked at it a few times – but it just didn’t budge. And sometimes- that brick wall was tougher than I was – and only because I let it…. I am not going to allow it to be anymore…

Don’t take for granted, the relationships in your life now. Try to be open. Try to communicate and work on compromise. Remember to laugh, and also remember – it is okay to cry– Because if they love you enough, they will be there to hold you and wipe your tears… If they really love you – they will take time to listen ….and not judge you. And, they will hold your hand…and promise, to kiss you under the stars.

Follow Ariana R. Cherry, author, on Facebook to see her recent posts, writings and published collections…

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