Life on Pause: Tests of faith? or Karma?


We are presented with different tests and lessons in life. We are exposed to various life experiences. Those experiences help us learn and grow wiser …. They also can make us question why we have to go through certain experiences. When trial enters into our lives, it makes us question – why ?

Why has God allowed this to happen in my  life? What is the reason? 

I have spent so many years of my life asking the question, why? We all know – life isn’t easy. And we all know we are here for a reason. And we all know that life is a gift… from God. He is the creator behind this huge masterpiece that we call life- even if we question the whole reason of it every single day…. (Well, I do anyway.)

Nobody’s life is full of rainbows and stars. But there comes a point where we accept certain things – and move on. And we learn to grow. It still doesn’t stop us from asking the universal question…”Why?

Throughout my years, I’ve read a variety of spiritual books. I can’t get enough of reading on spirituality and religion. I like to theorize and I LOVE to think… and question. And I’ve come to a couple answers to my question why. – It all comes to FAITH…. and Karma.

And yes– the two of these collide. They come from two different religious understandings.

Faith is about believing in God and the ultimate test. God tests us. He helps us grow. And as I’ve been learning – we go through things so that we can go back to Him. Because when we start to move a little farther away – he brings things to our lives to make us come back – so that we do learn to trust Him. He does after-all – love us. Why wouldn’t He want us to come back ? The thing is – we just have to learn to love Him. … And it actually isn’t that hard to love Him-but so many of us resist His love – why? – I’m not sure…. The world is a crazy place with temptations…. It makes us question the very one who created us… All we have to do is accept His love — is it really that hard?

And then – there’s Karma. I’ve read about Karma payback. Somehow, earlier in our lives- or even previous lives , we were responsible for somebody hurting, mistakes or errors that we might have made. So – now, Karma comes back and we have to endure something similar to the errors that we previously made. And once Karma runs its course- all is well in the world again. The horrible payback is over, we can breathe and continue on with our soul’s journey…. In a way – it is like trial and error backwards – There were errors – so we were put on trial… (kind of anyway).

SO you wonder – why do I put myself through all of these questions? Why am I researching Karma when I can have FAITH. Why do I have FAITH but still wonder about Karma?  The road of spiritualism is endless and I just want to know why I had to endure so much pain for so many years….

So what pain did I endure?…. That is almost a whole different story. I would like to call that pain – My Testimony.  … My testimony where I overcome growing up with someone with a mental illness, and living with a narcissist who put me through mental, verbal and emotional abuse… And yet- I am still here… living with my FAITH… but I still pray – this story wasn’t about Karma payback…







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