Life on Pause: Judgement Day?

PAUSE

This is going to be somewhat of  nerve-wracking week for me. I have plenty to keep me busy leading up to the “blessed” event. I’ll be working, covering meetings for the newspaper that I write for and attending the first class for a new bible study… Should be plenty to keep my mind off the stressful event.

In about 4 days, after filing lots of legal paperwork, I will be standing in front of a judge to see if I will be granted the divorce I filed almost a year ago. I have been told that it may not be granted on the first hearing – and that I may have to go back…. I will carefully keep that in mind, so that there won’t be any disappointment on my end.

I have never been in a courtroom. I’ve seen plenty on television – but as we all know – that is always different. I also will be standing next to someone who verbally and emotionally hurt me for years. I am quite nervous about that too. It is just hard to be in the same physical space with him anymore….. Yet it is also sad to believe that he was the same person I said vows to over 10 years ago. It leads to a lot of mixed emotions.

My fears that I have about this hearing include anything from not having all of the correct paperwork filed (there were so many forms!)  or there being a disagreement which requires us coming back or getting laywers. The cost of a lawyer was just outrageous and I didn’t want to go into debt for this – so I filed all on my own… Now I understand why they are paid so much…

Family, friends and my daughter will be there…. In-laws will be there too, so I have heard… I was hoping for something with less drama, but when situations such as these occur – I guess it is hard to avoid drama.

I am scared to stand there in front of that judge. I am not sure what he will ask or what he will say. The unknown is always a little frightening….

….Once this does get granted, it will officially be the end of a chapter in my life… A chapter that had so many lessons and emotions – and hopefully it will end with healing at some point. While it was indeed a very trying time in my life that felt like a roller-coaster, I have to be honest and say – it will be somewhat sad too. It is the end of something I tried to build and work very hard at keeping together. But the forces of darkness and negativity ripped it apart, and it still feels like a lost battle at times.

Once all has been signed, said and done – the only thing I can do is to keep moving forward and allow this chapter to be a lesson learned. I must never allow my soul to be beaten down again…

 

 

Published by Ariana R. Cherry

“Within the depths of our mind, we are battling the duel of light and darkness…good and evil…love and hate…” Between Light and Darkness is Ariana’s most recent collection of poetry… Cherry’s frequent message she delivers throughout her work is, “The journey through the darkness, back into the light.” Her hope is to let others know that they won’t be in that place of darkness for long – that they indeed can reach the light once again…She also wants her readers to know – that – it is okay if they find themselves in that bleak blackness…Sometimes we feel guilty for going to that dark place – but it is necessary to conquer the demons that battle our souls…. Other books that Cherry has written include "Only If" and "Twisted Paths Poetry." Her epic tale, “Only If,” won the “Reader’s Favorite Award” and a 5 star review…and her collection, “Twisted Paths Poetry,” received a 5 star review from Realistic Poetry International. She has been writing ever since she was a child. Some of her inspirations include Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Stephen King, Emily Dickinson, Christopher Pike and Shel Silverstein. Ariana writes a variety of genres: inspirational, humorous and horror – although writing horror is one of her favorites…. She was 12 years old when she read Poe for the very first time – which inspired her epic poetry tale, “Only If.“ During other parts of her free time, she enjoys taking photos and creating art. Her “day-jobs” include working as a church administrative aide and reporting for a local newspaper.

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