Life on Pause….Patience


“You say, “I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge with equity”. Psalm 75:2

Patience. I am trying really hard. I have been feeling like I am in limbo for almost 2 years now. While everything around me is moving on, and I am trying to move forward, there is one knot still in the chain….

And all I can think is…”Will that knot ever be untied?”

And- I am not fond of the legal system. They make so many things almost impossible and it takes time to get things accomplished….and money.

I still feel stuck, because I can not get the finalization that I want. I am still waiting for the other party to sign the papers. Although, I know that signature won’t make the memories disappear – or the emotional baggage that still weighs heavy on my heart at times… But I want to feel that I can move on – freely.

Most days, I can’t complain. There have been so many “tools”made available to me in the last couple of years that have helped me in the healing process…  I have great friends who have been there, a wonderful job as an administrative aide where I have gotten to know so many nice people and finally – a certified counselor that can understand what I have been through… I feel like all of these “tools” have been put in front of me for a reason….The only tool I need now – is patience…

–Again, I’ve heard that sometimes, you have to wait for the things that you really want. And- I just want to be free … While I have been separated – it still isn’t complete – In my heart, I know where I stand and want to be and I understand all these papers are just necessary for the legal system and all, but something about them – once everything has been taken care of – will make it easier to take that last step to move on… And then, I can truly start to heal even more….


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