I have to admit…I’m anxious. My mind is busy. It is quite tired. I do not like to wait – especially on things that I have no control over. I don’t need to be able to control every situation- but when it is something IMPORTANT to do with my life – I hate that the controls are in the hands of someone else… It is probably why I don’t ask for help that often – I want things done….like yesterday. I feel bad that I am that way – but if something nags at me enough – I need it done soon…
It’s been 30 days… No signatures. No communications. My counselor tells me this is just something that I have to wait on- sadly -I have no control over it. But this is my life. I have no plans to remarry- but I really want closure on this end- closure won’t erase the memories, but it might help-although again, my counselor says that the signing of the papers may not make everything totally go away either.
The anxiety is wracking my brain…Just do something!
I grow anxious by the day. My mind is growing tired…. I can’t understand why they are holding on…. If the divorce isn’t complete this way – there are OTHER ways to get it done- but then other decisions are put into the hands of the court – I don’t like that either…
I spent so many of my years dealing with pain and hurtful words on an emotional roller coaster. Thankfully, the roller coaster ride is over with, although, my brain doesn’t know it- it reacts to several triggers and words that bring back so many memories.
I just want to turn the page to the next chapter…(and now, I wait for a response from my legal representative – to find out what happens next…more waiting…)
(For those who follow my blog – prayers would be wonderful now…Prayers for patience, rest and that things work out the way that they are meant to….)