It is hard getting older… and those of you who are older than me – will tell me that I am still quite young and laugh at me – saying how I have so much life yet to live .
Although, I will tell you- there are days that I feel much older than my “so-called young 34” years of age. Even at this age, I feel life getting shorter, and bits of it slipping away-especially during special holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas and even Easter.
And so, here I am, I’ve arrived at December once again. The turkey was carved last month and time was spent with a few family members – but as the years progress, times just aren’t the same.
I try to search for that magic I felt as a child… The excitement of being good, waiting for Santa, making your list and the anticipation of Christmas vacation from school… Then – there was the magic of watching my daughter open gifts for the first time, taking her to see Santa Claus, decorating the tree and watching her school programs. While she still is quite young – a teenager (16), I do miss some of those times when she was just a little toddler- and her magic of Christmas was quite contagious…I love reliving those memories and flipping through the photos… I wonder nostalgically – where has the time gone?
As we grow older, sometimes it becomes more difficult to capture that magic. Especially after losing loved ones. I’ve spoke of it several times within my blog, but losing my grandmother, made a huge impact on my life. She was the center of many of my Christmases – the center of Easter – and other celebrations. As a little kid, I often felt that it wasn’t Christmas until I went to her house. I knew, that once I smelled the ham cooking – her homemade noodles on the stove and all of the assorted cookies- Christmas had arrived. I knew there would be time to sit on the sofa with grandma to open gifts, look through photos and talk about times past once again. I only wish to have a day – where I could go back, and sit on the sofa with her to relive those moments.
And then- there’s the times that life just throws us a curve ball. Changes and shake-ups that alter our life’s path – it could be for the good or bad – but in any event – it changes us throughout the years. And then Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s arrive – and we just find ourself at a difference place – still in shock , wondering what happened. After the shock wears off, we learn to adjust, move on and grasp the gold ring of life – once again.
As I grow older, I try so hard to find that innocent childhood magic. And while it’s not magic in Santa Claus, the commericialism of Christmas (which I dread) or even the scent of home-cooked food, I try to find it in deep within my heart. Even when there’s days in my life that seem a little darker, I look beyond the obvious and search deeper.
With some careful meditation and contemplation, we can find that magic that still lives within our souls. Our spirit might have taken a few hits here and there, but the magic is still well alive… It just takes a little more work as we walk through this journey of life. And once you start to find and feel that magic again – Cherish those moments -even when there might be tears in your eyes.
When you are experiencing one of those dark moments – try to remember just what a wonderful gift this life is that we have- and remember – that you are alive TODAY and you have been gifted TODAY.
When you remember that you have today, then take a few moments to be thankful that you had those moments and special people in your life. That will help you find the magic. And then, you can tuck those memories in your heart, to unwrap on those much lonely holiday mornings…