“Thou-est …you do think too much…”
…“If you spend too much time thinking about the future..or the end – then you never will have really lived…”
-The first phrase – I could see someone saying aloud to me – I often hear it in my mind. The second phrase – was told to me by my therapist. And she’s right. I need to learn to be in the present…
My mind drifts into a million places all the time. If I have a task to focus on in a given moment – I’m there. I’m all about that task and accomplishing it. But if you leave me alone for just a few minutes …. You are going to have to pull me off of my thought cloud.
I am always contemplating life and the future…and even – sometimes the end. I am usually thinking about when and how I am going to finish my book projects, art projects, what I will photograph next…what my daughter will be doing after she graduates…what type of guy will she end up with, what will her wedding be like…. what will being a grandmother be like (hope it doesn’t happen anytime soon!), where will I be living in 5, 10, 15 years—will I be here in 15 years?…..and then I find myself asking….when will I leave this world? …what will eternity be like?…. Can I fathom eternity? Do I want to live in an eternity?…what is the afterlife?… My mind just goes…and goes…..It is kind of scary in a way…that a person who enjoys life as much as I do ….am fascinated with …things like the afterlife…But my mind just twists it into these conceptions – which I believe is probably my imagination on over-drive…
Sometimes…I just get frustrated…Can’t I just park myself in the present and enjoy the moment?… Now – stick me with a sunrise…sunset, the moon or stars – and I am there…I am in THE MOMENT….Nature grounds me in the moment….But if I am stuck in doors, I just love to travel with my thoughts….I can actually travel down the rabbit hole when it comes to contemplating eternity … I am sure as humans – we can’t fathom that kind of time…We can’t grasp the concept of eternity – honestly – eternity frightens me….It reminds you of some of those movies where they rant mysteriously – or frighteningly – “forever…and ever…and ever…and ever…”
Why write this blog post? ranting about the rantings of my mind? I am curious if there are others who think just as much as I do? …or if I am just the odd one out here ? … Does anyone ever find themselves falling down the rabbit hole of endless mind rantings?…Does anyone else wonder about eternity…?…the after-life?…Or has my horror writing finally all caught up with me?…I just know…there may be one day – I will need some really long rope to pull me out of my rabbit hole…
Ariana R. Cherry: Poet & Artist 