RAINY DAYS MAKE MY MIND WANDER…..FAR.
I am not one who takes life lightly, nor do I fuss over the normal every day things…If a person were to ask me what I was thinking about…they might be sorry they asked . I am constantly contemplating life, the universe, our reason for being and the conundrum of eternity….
There are some days – I wish I was a simpler person ….just some days...but then if I was – I would get quite bored with myself.
I am on a journey….we all are on a journey. Of course, life is a journey – it never really ends actually. We are beings who are continuously learning…We each have our very own “path” to travel.
I walk a very fine middle line and I feel like I am doing a tight rope dance at times…I may veer slightly to one side and then, so I don’t lose balance, I will lean towards the other….I never have completely went one way…And I don’t know if that is good…or bad.
…Is there really one right way to live our life – or are we meant to live with the path we have been given? What if that path we were given was meant to change? What if it wasn’t? Are we walking the right path that our creator wants us to?
We all want something to believe in – a higher power. Being a Christian, I believe in God – our Father who created us…I believe he is the master artist behind all the beauty in this world…. A fine painter that He is…I know He loves us unconditionally….
That is one path that I walk down my tight rope…
Then I have questions….and fears….I worry that the questions I have are somehow – wrong- to have….or if it means I am questioning my own faith…
I am in love with nature…I don’t worship any of it, but when I am outdoors in the woods…I find peace…I feel closer to God….sometimes I feel closer to our creator in the deep of the woods than in a church (and then I wonder …is that okay? )
I love writing poetry and mini stories that deal with the “dark” side of things….But I always have my saying…”One sometimes has to walk through the darkness to reach the light…” Some may find that “darkness” taboo…or wonder how a Christian could write such things…But at one time or another – we all have experienced darkness in our lives…I write about that darkness for people to relate to…to know they aren’t alone…
It isn’t easy being a horror writer sometimes….But I feel that I have been directed to use my gift of writing to help “counsel” others….
And – is there really any “correct” type of Christian or religion ? No matter our religions – we all were made in the eye of a mighty creator….We weren’t evolved by some big bang that happened thousands of years ago ….And for humans to have such complex thoughts….for us to evolve and have compassion…to have feelings….TO me – that isn’t science….We are all masterpieces – a piece of artwork in the making with journeys to take…
Not only are we just human, but inside of each of us – is a soul that dwells which longs for a home after this one…an eternal home that we all hope to go to…(how can that be merely science?)….
And then there’s that word eternal…which sends me into another conundrum and another thought loop….(such as…what does eternity feel like – or will we even feel eternity?)…
Some days – these thoughts are just looped together like this…and I will pull them apart, contemplate and seek to find answers…And I’ve only been doing this….for the majority of my life…
(It doesn’t help that we’ve had lots of rain the last few days with no sunshine)….That is how my mind usually gets here….
(End of thought loop).