Life on Pause: Having Faith & Dealing With the Normal Things in Life.



It has been a bit since I have posted to this particular blog series…I’ve been busy with life things: work, trying to relax, scheduling events to promote my book, finishing other poetry collections, creating postcards to sell in a nearby store ….and…trying to live in the present….that is what most PTSD survivors spend every day trying to do…and evidently – I have been somewhat successful.

At my most recent session with my counselor, she decided we could start moving our sessions to every other week instead of weekly – “Congratulations!” she says… I know this is a good thing but a part of me feels somewhat uncertain… She says it is kind of like graduation….and they try not to get clients to use counseling as a “habit.”…. So, honestly, yes, I am a little uncertain because it has been a pretty regular thing for quite awhile (although, there has been a few times, I went two weeks without a session – and I survived)… I need to learn this little thing called…”Faith.” I need to have “Faith” in myself again…Maybe this is where I learn it.

While I am busy trying to move on and make plans for the future, I can’t say that every day for me is a piece of cake… Silly me – Since I thought I was moving to do my sessions every other week now – maybe I was strong enough to look through old past photos…. Most people, when they leave a relationship -I notice how they remove those photos. Well I kept mine in my profile and in storage. Those memories are a part of me and a part of my life- even if I delete those photos – that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist….

I tried going back 9 or 10 years ago and looking through those memories and photos and it was very difficult….Deep down, I still sometimes blame myself for what happened and the break-down of our family and I am still searching for forgiveness… Maybe it is just that I need to forgive myself. But… I am not strong enough to take that trip down memory lane….not yet….But I am strong enough to deal with the “normal things” in life right now… Which is what my counselor told me I was doing… I am close to “normal”…But in my world – nothing is normal…. And I am definitely not “normal.” I thrive to be unique…always have….

So…for now… I will deal with the “normal things.” And see how I deal with this new schedule…Maybe it’s a good thing – I just need to have faith.

Published by Ariana R. Cherry

“Within the depths of our mind, we are battling the duel of light and darkness…good and evil…love and hate…” Between Light and Darkness is Ariana’s most recent collection of poetry… Cherry’s frequent message she delivers throughout her work is, “The journey through the darkness, back into the light.” Her hope is to let others know that they won’t be in that place of darkness for long – that they indeed can reach the light once again…She also wants her readers to know – that – it is okay if they find themselves in that bleak blackness…Sometimes we feel guilty for going to that dark place – but it is necessary to conquer the demons that battle our souls…. Other books that Cherry has written include "Only If" and "Twisted Paths Poetry." Her epic tale, “Only If,” won the “Reader’s Favorite Award” and a 5 star review…and her collection, “Twisted Paths Poetry,” received a 5 star review from Realistic Poetry International. She has been writing ever since she was a child. Some of her inspirations include Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Stephen King, Emily Dickinson, Christopher Pike and Shel Silverstein. Ariana writes a variety of genres: inspirational, humorous and horror – although writing horror is one of her favorites…. She was 12 years old when she read Poe for the very first time – which inspired her epic poetry tale, “Only If.“ During other parts of her free time, she enjoys taking photos and creating art. Her “day-jobs” include working as a church administrative aide and reporting for a local newspaper.

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