Do you ever feel like…in the midst of silence….or relaxation…that you are waiting….Waiting on something …something to happen….or something to …end…
Of course- there is the waiting in line, waiting on the telephone…waiting on a friend…But there is that silent “waiting”…As the earth continues to spin, as night becomes day and day becomes night, we wait.
I feel like I am …waiting sometimes. I am not sure for what though. I am not quite sure what, but I have always felt like I could have a short life. I sure hope not and plan to be around for awhile – but I know that isn’t entirely my decision- only one person knows when that day will come. But even as a child, I wasn’t someone who had big dreams of weddings or families. Don’t get me wrong – I like little kids and I love family events and I love my family dearly. But there was a class in my high school where you would form together your own “Wedding Booklet.” That idea seemed foreign to me…. I didn’t take that class for that reason actually…While it is great to have relationships in life, family and friends – I wanted something deeper in life….relationships can indeed be deep and meaningful – but these “kite dreams,” – seemed…unnecessary to me. I used to watch those TLC wedding shows and thought that they were insane for spending huge amounts of money on weddings – after-all – they have the rest of their life ahead of them…waiting…to be experienced… Again….waiting.
I can sit in the stone of silence….and feel as if I am waiting…. My whole life I have felt like I am waiting for something – but I am just not sure what….as I grow older, that feeling intensifies…. Am I waiting for that deeper experience? Am I looking for a piece of ancient article for the meaning of life?… Am I waiting for that booming voice to talk to me and say…”yes, my child!…” ..What am I waiting for? In the mean-time, I will continue to live life the best I can and conqueror the trials and tribulations…. and wait… to see what is in store.