Poetry: Insecurities

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Insecurities
*****************************

Sometimes among a large crowd,
I think I hear everyone's chasing thoughts
and judgements within my mind, all echoing aloud...

but perhaps... it is just fear...
Just internal fear, screaming in my ear.

I see all of their intimidating eyes...
staring back at a so small me - 
and I wonder...
what is it, 
that they see?

Do they see...
the real me ?

Do I even want them to see?

Sometimes, in the midst of conversation,
I get lost...
...voices trail off to lands ago,
and my mind, calculates all the things
from hours ago - 
that I needed to know....

Before I realize it,
the conversation has gone...
and so have I...

...among friends,
I may talk, laugh and tell jokes to no end

But even then, after it is all over,
I wonder...
Did they laugh because they truly thought it was funny?
...or deep down...
Were they all just laughing at ... the real me?

In a world, so full of quick judgement
and unrealistic expectations....
...it can be difficult to be...
REAL...

Human emotions can be challenging...
Hard to ...understand...to reveal...
even difficult to admit - how you feel.

Do we openly cry when we are sad - 
or do we run away and hide, behind a closed door-
because we fear that it looks bad?

Do we worry what others will say...
Because perhaps - we don't feel like talking today?

...sometimes...we feel so small...
Because the world has made us feel like...
we aren't really here at all.

Perhaps many of us are feeling the same...
But we just don't explain...
Because we worry 
that it will make us seem... plain.

Or perhaps, some of us are afraid to just be...human.

....Are we ashamed?
...or have we become -
NUMB?

- Ariana R. Cherry 2017






Published by Ariana R. Cherry

“Within the depths of our mind, we are battling the duel of light and darkness…good and evil…love and hate…” Between Light and Darkness is Ariana’s most recent collection of poetry… Cherry’s frequent message she delivers throughout her work is, “The journey through the darkness, back into the light.” Her hope is to let others know that they won’t be in that place of darkness for long – that they indeed can reach the light once again…She also wants her readers to know – that – it is okay if they find themselves in that bleak blackness…Sometimes we feel guilty for going to that dark place – but it is necessary to conquer the demons that battle our souls…. Other books that Cherry has written include "Only If" and "Twisted Paths Poetry." Her epic tale, “Only If,” won the “Reader’s Favorite Award” and a 5 star review…and her collection, “Twisted Paths Poetry,” received a 5 star review from Realistic Poetry International. She has been writing ever since she was a child. Some of her inspirations include Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Stephen King, Emily Dickinson, Christopher Pike and Shel Silverstein. Ariana writes a variety of genres: inspirational, humorous and horror – although writing horror is one of her favorites…. She was 12 years old when she read Poe for the very first time – which inspired her epic poetry tale, “Only If.“ During other parts of her free time, she enjoys taking photos and creating art. Her “day-jobs” include working as a church administrative aide and reporting for a local newspaper.

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