Soon, within hours, it will be 2018…. and I will spend a bit of time reflecting on the past year… and the journey I have taken to get to today…this present time… Few will know how difficult it has been for me to stay in the present and to not keep lingering in the past…In 2017, I’ve worked hard to keep marching forward and to creating new memories…
… Actually in 2017, I did a few things that I never would have seen myself doing four to five years ago because I wouldn’t have had the courage… nor the confidence…. But somehow – as time has progressed, I’ve surprised myself in more ways than one… While the final outcome was indeed not perfect – I still took the leap to get out of my comfort zone…
…I am not writing this to brag. I am writing this as something to look back on as accomplishments…and maybe – somewhere out there – I can inspire someone else, who has been down a difficult road … or is now – experiencing life for the first time free from a difficult situation they may have been in before…
In 2017, I had the opportunity to attend a couple of local conventions to promote my books and myself as an author – Dark History and Horror Convention and Cil-Con. At the Dark History and Horror Convention, I participated in an author’s round table on a small stage …. I haven’t had the courage to be on a stage since I had been in plays back in high school… At Cil-Con – I spoke to many different people… probably more than I had done so at previous conventions…
I did a few public speaking “gigs.” I am not one who is comfortable speaking in front of crowds… In fact – it can be downright terrifying sometimes… But – I did it 3 times this year!… I created a program titled, “Rhymes Climbing Through Time,” (https://www.facebook.com/RhymesClimbingThroughTime/) which takes a look at a few of my favorite poets through the years and their history. I also talk about my poetry, a little bit of life experience and why I write poetry to share with others… I performed that specific program twice – Once for the Moultrie County Historical Society and then again for the local Rotary Club. Then my boyfriend and I created a program for those getting their start in writing. We did that presentation at the Lovington Public Library… There were few in attendance – but they all enjoyed it and asked us to come back again sometime….
Coming up in March 2018, I have been invited as a guest to the Art and Equality Convention in Savoy, Illinois where I will speak on domestic abuse…. That will be a large step for me.
Since late 2016, I have been taking piano lessons. This is something that I have always wanted to learn as a child. I love what I have learned so far and playing the piano. While I was completely terrified, I played a solo at the Arthur United Methodist Church some weeks ago. It was a combination of “Fur Elise” and “Moonlight Sonata” by Beethoven. I did stop a couple times, and confessed that I was indeed nervous… But I did get through it !…. Thinking of that experience still makes me nervous! It was my first time playing publicly. I hope that with time and more experience, I will grow less nervous doing this….
Also in 2017, I was invited to be a guest on a podcast – “The Rift Radio.” I spoke about my poetry and writing…. And now – I am the host (with my boyfriend as the co-host) of my own podcast (Night Moves Radio) and part of the R.I.F.T.. Network which began this past August… We interview authors, artists and musicians each week on Thursday evenings. It has been fun getting to meet new people.
After approaching the Arthur General Store with my artwork and jewelry – it is now selling in their store.. and I have made great friends with its owners. It was wonderful for others to think that something I created was actually worth selling…. I never knew if the things I created were any good or not… I believe that has given me the confidence that I have needed to put my creations out there…
….Looking back – I could have never dreamed of getting to have such experiences. Over four years ago, I felt trapped and in a never-ending loop. I was convinced that I was not a person worthy of good things happening to her….I also worried whether I was a good mother or not… I felt like I was living in a bubble and there was no room for me to grow as a person…
There may be times that my past haunts me… or I still hear the echoes of all the bad things that were said to me… But I continue to take heart, try to have faith and believe that I can do this thing that we call , “life.” …. And without a dream that I had so many years ago to reassure me of the love that I did indeed have and to have the strength to change a situation that was causing me grief and not allowing me to grow…. None of this would have been possible…
….Life is a journey and not everything is perfect… and sometimes – time may seem like its standing… But – we just need to have faith … Somehow we just have to keep moving forward …Even when the past tries to outreach its arms to drag you down, you have to literally pull away and ignore those ghosts in your head.
…. Remember…. you….are much stronger than what you think you are.
……Happy New Year.
Ariana R. Cherry: Poet & Artist 