Please forgive me for this post..but I need to vent and release some emotions… You may continue to read if you wish… But it isn’t necessarily a happy post….. And if you do stick around to read…thank you for “listening…”
I know when we were young, our grandparents often told us how different the world was growing up….And how much everything has changed…. I’m not even a grandparent and I can see those changes already….
As I get older, it is so hard to live in a world that is becoming increasingly… insensitive….Or it could just be, that I may just be… a sensitive person with too much compassion and emotion…. It hurts to care so much sometimes.
….When I begin to form and build relationships, I put everything I have into them and become emotionally invested… And perhaps – that is my own mistake…. But sometimes I care so much for people, that my heart hurts….And that is what makes it hard to live in a world that can be insensitive. I am not saying that everybody is careless or selfish, but a large portion of society has become selfish – only looking out for their own personal needs and how to get ahead…
Also as I get older, I learn that I need to be more careful to who I trust…. I need to be more careful to who I open up too…. Because – if I no longer meet that person’s needs or requirements – They easily throw me off to the side like yesterday’s garbage… And then – I am left with a heart that feels like its been stomped on a million times…. Kind of like how I feel right now… For almost a week now, I have been unable to lift this huge brick off of my heart….
I invested a year of my personal time to an individual whom I thought was my friend…and basically, I am just finding out that none of it mattered…. I was only used for their own personal gain … Just a number in their business…. Yet- they pretended to care about me, share stories with me and act as if they were a mentor…. I shared personal things that I don’t share with everyone…and now, I am sitting here, feeling used and a like a really huge idiot…. “Stupid me for caring so much...’
Sometimes, people forget -we are humans…and people with emotions…. and the things that are said and done to us – can effect us deeply… But those who are insensitive – seem to be numb….
It is a hard lesson to learn – you can’t trust everybody and you must guard your heart and soul with the most utmost protection…..
I really don’t want to become a cynical person…. But.. it is becoming so increasingly hard not to be…. It is becoming so difficult to live in world that is insensitive…
I guess…the only thing I can do …is pray for those – who seem to have lost their hearts.