Rapid pulsating quick heartbeats dance
as nervous drops of sweat drip down a clammy forehead,
as you try not to concentrate on the worries swimming
in your head after you have spoken.
Shaking palms and wobbly legs stumble on
a flat ground as if it were a balancing beam,
when you walk through a crowded room… or
as you make your way to a person to ask a question…
Patiently waiting …yet feeling frighteningly impatient as you
await a response from another individual – after you have
asked a question…or in the midst of a conversation or discussion
once you decided to be brave enough to make a statement…
An overloaded train of noisy thoughts and worries traveling
through your already overcrowded mind when you are attempting
to uncover peace that is buried so deep.
That look in the mirror of terror, when you spot your reflection –
and attack the person staring back at you…
asking why you chose to wear such dreadful attire for the day
or picking at the stray hairs that stand out like a warning light –
even if everyone else seems to be ignoring it…
…Those few seconds are like a trip through a horrific fun house…
Evenings when your tired head finally hit your pillow,
but racing thoughts rush through your mind as they begin
their productions of dreams and nightmares for the 2 am show…
…with no intermission in between.
…and finally exhaustion… of trying to be human…
when a soul just wants to fly to be free from the pain
from all the worry and fear from everyone else’s response
of your actions throughout the day…
…And then…retreat…into our imaginations where our
world is at peace, creativity thrives, nobody judges
and we are no longer afraid… to look in the mirror.
– Ariana R Cherry 2019