young-woman-2239269_1920…”Learning to Adjust to Life’s “adjustments”
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Over the last two months and my recent “diagnosis” of Fibromyalgia from my doctor, I’ve had to learn to “adjust.”…

..My mind is always going… I have idea after idea – and I want to do all of these ideas. I am always in “create mode.” The problem is – I think my mind is too fast for this physical body that my soul resides in. And since this diagnosis… I have had to relearn balance – relearn how to relax…

… While there is no magic pill to help deal with yet another ailment to add to my list – there is a way I can alter the way I’ve been going about my day…and perhaps – by doing so – maybe I can improve other things that I suffer from as well…

For anyone who suffers from chronic pain and exhaustion, here are some things I’ve learned in the past couple of months – that actually have been difficult for me (while to some – it may come quite easy)…

1. REST … I’ve had to learn – that it is okay to rest (this has been difficult for me). It doesn’t mean that I am lazy. I am trying to get into the habit of resting in between each activity throughout my day. Thankfully, I work where I can go home at lunch, and rest for a bit and then go back to work to get through the afternoon. Before covering a council meeting for the paper – I rest. If I need to rest after work for a bit before doing anything in the evening… I do it.

2. Peppermint is awesome. I’ve used peppermint essential oils a lot lately. I use it in my diffuser and topically. It is great for pain – and for headaches.

3. Menthol is refreshing. This is used in a few other pain relievers that I use… It is cool, smells a bit “mediciney” but..it is wonders for pain.

4. Journaling. Writing down how you feel is a great way to relieve stress and tension.

5. It’s okay to say no...and it’s okay to need quiet time to yourself. (I have had trouble with this too)…..

6. Learning balance in your life… Whether that means adjusting your schedule or even your diet (which I am going to try starting next month). I think sometimes in our lives – we just need to learn balance to help us deal with change.

My goal is to not need a prescription to deal with this new “adjustment” in my life…. I’d rather not call it a “disease” or a “problem,” yet – an adjustment… Because then it gives me a reason to fight… and a motivation to make things better….

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Thank you for reading…. I hope perhaps that this post might have inspired you.

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Foreign Inhabitants
——————-

…she runs her jagged fingernails down the length of the bare white wall,
Leaving a trail of chipped paint behind….
Carefully, she tries to stifle the scream
that attempts to escape her dry parched lips.

A tear dances down her damp rosy cheek,
As once again, her tired mind attempts a superwoman pep talk,
Gathering strength through gritted teeth…

Mobile parts have become rusted and creaky,
Her legs and feet, held down by invisible concrete,
And her arms, dangle painfully as if an
Unseen force is playing tug-of-war…

…feeling like an addict,
a few hours of relief and a bit of hope
is found in potions of creams, lotions and oils…
…She returns for conversation to these bottles
For an attempted miracle light multiple times
throughout the day while they
Bring her back to life for just a bit…

In such a short time, her body has rebelled
And began an unexpected war…
An unforeseen lifetime battle
Trying to drag her down to her now pained knees…

…Quick jolts of pain play peek- a-boo,
And lazy aches take thoughtful strolls
Throughout the mass body transit of muscles, bones and joints…
They’ve all become foreign inhabitants…

Meanwhile, she puts on her appropriate smile,
And brightens her dark eyes,
Hiding the shadow of the atrocious war,
battling inside…

For if she would scream out with
The pain that blazed within her shaky core,
It would deafen the world….

-Ariana R Cherry 2018

 

woman-2609115_1920…Scrolling through all of the “diagnoses” through my patient portal account on the hospital network that I use, I sigh… and think back to each time, I was told that there was another thing I’d have to add to my list to “deal with.”

…Now before I begin – I am not trying to play the “why me?” victim card and I am not looking for sympathy. I am merely just – thinking and…. trying to figure out – what is the role or purpose of all of these “diagnoses” that we have in our lives… I am really pondering on this topic…. Because, now – it is starting to bug me a bit.

….I realize all of us have battles in our lives. We all have lived through twists and paths throughout our journey. My life sure hasn’t been a cake-walk, but I try to seek out the positive things among all the negative experiences….  My road map has been bumpy here and there …. My childhood was lived under a strict household (but that made me the better person that I am today I like to think), my teenage years were very stressful -I won’t go into full blown details, but I spent about all four years of high school in counseling because things at home weren’t exactly fun, my first year at college was a big eye opener to the “real world” – but I made some good friends and soon after starting college, I married into what would be a very stressful difficult relationship…

…. Today – I am no longer in that marriage or that “scared child” I used to be – but… now – it is like my body is finally reacting to all of those bumps I had in the road… I was tense for so long…and now… everything is being released through these… “diagnoses…”

…. So, here I am… looking through my “patient profile.” I read through the “Problems List” as they call it…

  • Asthma
  • Overactive Bladder
  • Diabetes
  • Diverticulitis
  • Hx of Cystisis
  • IBS(irritable bowel syndrome)
  • Pain (back, leg and neck)

Just as recent, the Cystitis and pain started. Last year I was diagnosis with Interstitial Cystitis and for over a month, I’ve been dealing with some pretty bad pain and I’ve been back and forth between appointments at the hospital and my primary doctor. As I read on my latest report from the Pain Clinic – they are calling it Myofacial Pain. The doctors at the pain clinic are suspecting Fibromyalgia. It is funny – spell check tries to change that to “nostalgia.” …. Thinking back as when I was told I had each of these “problems,” it certainly does bring back nostalgia.

I am trying so hard to just get through it and not complain. I hear of people battling Cancer and so many other diseases every day… And I tell myself – I can get through this if they can get through their difficult days… I can’t imagine what Cancer pain feels like…

But right now, I am finding even that difficult. I keep speaking with God, trying to ask him – so…..”What now? What is the purpose behind this one?”  Someone told me once – “Well if it wasn’t you – then it would have to be someone else handling it – so – then  – why not you? …. ” So – does that mean I am supposed to take on all of these little ailments ?….

I am someone who likes to stay busy. I always have art projects, writing projects…. craft projects… taking photos…. I love to walk… I love to be out in nature. ….I don’t like to be kept down. I am very motivated…. I am driven to do the things that I love.

Then I wonder – is this some sort of huge call from God to tell me to slow down? …..Are these “problems” literally to get me to slow down? because – I do slow down. I walk – I admire nature…. I see the beauty… I photograph it… I write about it…..

What is the purpose behind all of these “ailments?” ….Since leaving my ex-spouse about 4 years ago, 5 of these ailments crept up on me. I had already developed IBS and diverticulitis while I had been with the ex. At that time, I had been prediabetic but not developed full blown diabetes yet…

I don’t think these (I hope that they aren’t) are punishments for making the decisions that I have made in the past…. And I don’t think God punishes people… But I do think he tests people… Is this some sort of test to see how much I can handle? How strong I can be? Because – I’ve had enough tests…. I’ve been through emotional and mental anguish… and now…well..the physical is starting to wear on me too…

….All I know…is that physical pain is not fun… And I am not sure what is worse? Mental pain or physical pain? …. And all that I have on my mind now is .. is that I have to figure out how to deal with this now, for the rest of my life. I pretty much have the other ones under control… (for the most part )… But I don’t understand the purpose for this physical pain?

Why does God continue to put pain in our lives? Whether it be mental or physical? … Does anyone have any answers  ? … My “problem list” is growing rather long….I don’t need any more tests on how much stronger can I be…. Because right now… this test…. is testing me….

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We are all souls on personal journeys. Sometimes, our paths may cross, and our lives intertwine. Allow these poems to guide you, inspire you and perhaps sing to your heart as you walk on your journey.

You will never know the places your heart will take you – unless you follow it…. We are all on a journey and in this life – there are many lessons to learn…

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WritingDownThoughts

We all have dreams. Some of them seem more real than others. But why do we dream? Is there underlying meaning to them? Are they a connection to somewhere else? Or is it all just scientific? …. What is the purpose of dreams…. Why – did God create us as human beings to have dreams?…Back in biblical days, many spoke on dreams and were given messages…. We all know about Joseph and his ability to interpret dreams….

In this episode…we will ponder dreams.. and perhaps what they mean….

To listen to this podcast, click on the link below:https://anchor.fm/cloverleafradionetwork/embed/episodes/Writing-Down-Thoughts-Words-on-Dreams——-What-do-they-mean-e24s45