Archive for the ‘Inspirational Writings’ Category

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…”Man is like a breath, his days are like a passing shadow...” – Psalm 144:4….

…. As I get older, I find myself realizing just exactly how short life really is…. When I was younger, life seemed to go slow…As a child, you wait for specific holidays, birthdays, summer vacations or the next day when your friend would come over. There was a lot of waiting, plenty of time to play – and there wasn’t as many responsibilities… But then you grow up.

And also, as a child, it seemed as if I was surrounded by many family members and friends…I don’t remember losing very many people back then. In fact, the only person that I vaguely remember is my grandfather, Joe Cherry, who passed away from Cancer when I was almost 9 years old…. My other grandfather, (Cliff Winnett) also passed from Cancer – but I was only about 2 – so I don’t remember it very well…

….As the years progress, life spins so much faster. You spend them working, running errands, raising families, trying to make time for hobbies and also probably spending too much time on the Internet…(thanks to the age of technology)…And…perhaps, we just aren’t taking enough time to really see life for what it is… Stopping…and just – experiencing life or gazing at the sunrise or sunset, looking at all the beautiful stars in the sky, hearing a baby or child’s laughter or learning something new…We so often forget to take time for all the little things…

In the midst of the hassle and hurry – you might have found out you lost a family member – or a close friend… and then – life just HITS you. We are not immortal beings. We are only here for a very short time. It’s during that time, not only does the grief of our loss takes over, but – we also realize our own mortality… Have we told those we care about that we love them? Are we experiencing life to the fullest? …

Just in case you need a reminder… Life is a gift. Life is to be treasured. Perhaps, we should try not to worry about those dirty dishes in the sink, or that hair that is out of place, or if we left the house without “putting on our face,” our shirt is wrinkled….or that the house is a mess….Maybe instead, we take time to see the constellations in the sky, gaze at the sunrise or sunset, take a walk with friends or family, enjoy playing a game with our kids (nieces, nephews, grand-kids) or just talking to them (as long as they will put away their phones!)… .

While I have not been impacted directly, there just have been a lot of deaths around me lately – and there are those that are sick (and possibly in their last weeks/days)…. And while I try to take time to enjoy the little things, I am starting to feel just how short life is. I’ve always heard the saying “Life is short“, but as I inch closer to 40 (another three years or so)… I have already lost a good handful of people who have impacted my life.

And while we are promised eternal life (“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life”. – John 5:13), our journey on Earth is not forever…

…We really do not know when our last second is up… We don’t know when we will take our last breath…But until those moments, we must make this journey special, follow the calling of our hearts…and see…all the little things wrapped up – in this gift of life…

 

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Soon, within hours, it will be 2018…. and I will spend a bit of time reflecting on the past year… and the journey I have taken to get to today…this present time… Few will know how difficult it has been for me to stay in the present and to not keep lingering in the past…In 2017, I’ve worked hard to keep marching forward and to creating new memories…

… Actually in 2017, I did a few things that I never would have seen myself doing four to five years ago because I wouldn’t  have had the courage… nor the confidence…. But somehow – as time has progressed, I’ve surprised myself in more ways than one… While the final outcome was indeed not perfect – I still took the leap to get out of my comfort zone…

…I am not writing this to brag. I am writing this as something to look back on as accomplishments…and maybe – somewhere out there – I can inspire someone else, who has been down a difficult road … or is now – experiencing life for the first time free from a difficult situation they may have been in before…

In 2017, I had the opportunity to attend a couple of local conventions to promote my books and myself as an author – Dark History and Horror Convention and Cil-Con. At the Dark History and Horror Convention, I participated in an author’s round table on a small stage …. I haven’t had the courage to be on a stage since I had been in plays back in high school… At Cil-Con – I spoke to many different people… probably more than I had done so at previous conventions…

I did a few public speaking “gigs.” I am not one who is comfortable speaking in front of crowds… In fact – it can be downright terrifying sometimes… But – I did it 3 times this year!… I created a program titled, “Rhymes Climbing Through Time,” (https://www.facebook.com/RhymesClimbingThroughTime/) which takes a look at a few of my favorite poets through the years and their history. I also talk about my poetry, a little bit of life experience and why I write poetry to share with others… I performed that specific program twice – Once for the Moultrie County Historical Society and then again for the local Rotary Club. Then my boyfriend and I created a program for those getting their start in writing. We did that presentation at the Lovington Public Library… There were few in attendance – but they all enjoyed it and asked us to come back again sometime….

Coming up in March 2018, I have been invited as a guest to the Art and Equality Convention in Savoy, Illinois where I will speak on domestic abuse…. That will be a large step for me.

Since late 2016, I have been taking piano lessons. This is something that I have always wanted to learn as a child. I love what I have learned so far and playing the piano. While I was completely terrified, I played a solo at the Arthur United Methodist Church some weeks ago. It was a combination of “Fur Elise” and “Moonlight Sonata” by Beethoven. I did stop a couple times, and confessed that I was indeed nervous… But I did get through it !…. Thinking of that experience still makes me nervous! It was my first time playing publicly. I hope that with time and more experience, I will grow less nervous doing this….

Also in 2017, I was invited to be a guest on a podcast  – “The Rift Radio.” I spoke about my poetry and writing…. And now – I am the host (with my boyfriend as the co-host) of my own podcast (Night Moves Radio) and part of the R.I.F.T.. Network which began this past August… We interview authors, artists and musicians each week on Thursday evenings. It has been fun getting to meet new people.

After approaching the Arthur General Store with my artwork and jewelry – it is now selling in their store.. and I have made great friends with its owners. It was wonderful for others to think that something I created was actually worth selling…. I never knew if the things I created were any good or not… I believe that has given me the confidence that I have needed to put my creations out there…

….Looking back – I could have never dreamed of getting to have such experiences. Over four years ago, I felt trapped and in a never-ending loop. I was convinced that I was not a person worthy of good things happening to her….I also worried whether I was a good  mother or not… I felt like I was living in a bubble and there was no room for me to grow as a person…

There may be times that my past haunts me… or I still hear the echoes of all the bad things that were said to me… But I continue to take heart, try to have faith and believe that I can do this thing that we call , “life.” …. And without a dream that I had so many years ago to reassure me of the love that I did indeed have and to have the strength to change a situation that was causing me grief and not allowing me to grow…. None of this would have been possible…

….Life is a journey and not everything is perfect… and sometimes – time may seem like its standing… But – we just need to have faith … Somehow we just have to keep moving forward …Even when the past tries to outreach its arms to drag you down, you have to literally pull away and ignore those ghosts in your head.

…. Remember…. you….are much stronger than what you think you are.

……Happy New Year.

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OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

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Domestic violence resources:

http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/home
http://www.doveinc.org/
https://www.unitedmethodistwomen.org/domestic-violence
https://www.facebook.com/October-Is-National-Domestic-Viol…/

……If you know of someone who may be experiencing domestic violence – help them break the silence….Contact someone asap….. Sometimes it is much more difficult for the person in the situation to call out for help…..

 

Ariana R. Cherry: 5-Star Author

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Normal Love

I thought my life was normal.
Caught up in my own farce,
I thought it was what
all the other couples did.
I knew no other way.

I let you let me cry.
I thought it was okay,
to feel like you wanted to die.

I saw others’ happiness…
I secretly watched that other guy,
lovingly caress
her face.
I thought it was all play,
not real.

In my world,
Love would not allow you
to feel.

Years of fighting an unruly heart,
While I allowed you to tear it apart,
and I never got to put it back together
EACH time.

I thought it was normal,
to feel so broken.

One late evening,
feeling so incredibly alone…
I had a recognition.

My heart cried out for life.
It begged to be realized.
It asked, that I run away
from the inflicting knife.

It beat at the thoughts

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“…without poetry….or “fine tuned literature,” we would not be able to describe or write our emotions that bury themselves so far deep in our hearts….or those that hide behind the deep dark doors in the back of our minds.
 
Words are our escape – the way to express our feelings – when we can not express through our frightened closed tight mouths.”
-Ariana R. Cherry

WAITING

Do you ever feel like…in the midst of silence….or relaxation…that you are waiting….Waiting on something …something to happen….or something to …end…

Of course- there is the waiting in line, waiting on the telephone…waiting on a friend…But there is that silent “waiting”…As the earth continues to spin, as night becomes day and day becomes night, we wait.

I feel like I am …waiting sometimes. I am not sure for what though. I am not quite sure what, but I have always felt like I could have a short life. I sure hope not and plan to be around for awhile – but I know that isn’t entirely my decision- only one person knows when that day will come. But even as a child, I wasn’t someone who had big dreams of weddings or families. Don’t get me wrong – I like little kids and I love family events and I love my family dearly. But there was a class in my high school where you would form together your own “Wedding Booklet.” That idea seemed foreign to me…. I didn’t take that class for that reason actually…While it is great to have relationships in life, family and friends – I wanted something deeper in life….relationships can indeed be deep and meaningful – but these “kite dreams,” – seemed…unnecessary to me. I used to watch those TLC wedding shows and thought that they were insane for spending huge amounts of money on weddings – after-all – they have the rest of their life ahead of them…waiting…to be experienced… Again….waiting.

I can sit in the stone of silence….and feel as if I am waiting…. My whole life I have felt like I am waiting for something – but I am just not sure what….as I grow older, that feeling intensifies…. Am I waiting for that deeper experience? Am I looking for a piece of ancient article for the meaning of life?… Am I waiting for that booming voice to talk to me and say…”yes, my child!…” ..What am I waiting for? In the mean-time, I will continue to live life the best I can and conqueror the trials and tribulations…. and wait… to see what is in store.

CHANGE

Isaiah 43:18-19

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

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I posted that scripture in our weekly church email where I work today … But it also has some meaning to me… I did a search in Google for scriptures about “trying new things,” and that is one of the verses that caught my attention…

Yet again, I have been diagnosed with another health issue ( I already have IBS, Diverticulitis, Asthma and Diabetes)… For over a month, I’ve had some pretty terrible back and side aches (flank pain) along with pretty frequent trips to the restroom. It felt like a bad UTI – but when I was tested – there was no bacteria. I was first told it was a bladder infection, on the way to the ER one day – I was told I had appendicitis and then after that, I was told I had cysts on my ovaries – But all of those diagnosis were WRONG- but I continued to be in pain. So I bugged my doctor some more until she finally said she couldn’t quite figure it out and referred me to a urologist…Just a couple days ago, I found out I have Interstitial Cystitis or “Painful Bladder Syndrome.” (you can find more information about it here).

I will be receiving treatments once a week for the next month and then I’ll have an evaluation after the month to see if I need continued treatments or just maintenance.Along with that, I also will need to change my diet. I have to cut out caffeine, a lot of fruits and some vegetables, spicy foods and basically – anything with acid. With IC, your bladder lining is inflamed and irritated – so basically all of these acids are irritating your bladder – which causes the pain and frequent urination.  While there is no cure, the symptoms can be treated – and sometimes, it can go away … (With proper changes to your diet and treatment)… It really depends on the severity of the disease…

… So I will be trying a new diet and a new way to eat…. As I have already done before with my IBS, diverticulitis and Diabetes…. I often ask myself why I have to keep dealing with all these little health issues along the way – but then I realize – my situation could be much worse… I am a very motivated person…and right now – I am very motivated to not be in pain… But sometimes I feel like I just keep being told…”you can’t eat this….you can’t eat that…and nope – I am sorry – that is good food – but you just can’t have it.”

Of course, there is much more to life than food – but it is a necessity for living…. I am just going to have to learn to eat more natural and homemade things, a lot of fish and chicken and drink a lot of water and milk…Thank goodness I can still have ice cream! (as long as it isn’t chocolate or has problematic fruits)…. 

So maybe this change in diet – can be a good thing – maybe I will feel better or even healthier…While I can remember how the old days used to be – I can travel through this “wilderness” and embrace a better and hopefully healthier, less painful life…

Sometimes – God brings new things to our life for the better…even if we may not like it – there usually is a reason for it – There is always a reason for everything in life… It might be stressful – but I was told by a friend – He never gives us more than we can handle – and well – I have dealt with my share of things in life – …. He must think I am pretty strong…I may not feel strong on some days…but I keep on this journey- wondering where it all is going to take me… 

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RAINY DAYS MAKE MY MIND WANDER…..FAR.

I am not one who takes life lightly, nor do I fuss over the normal every day things…If a person were to ask me what I was thinking about…they might be sorry they asked . I am constantly contemplating life, the universe, our reason for being and the conundrum of eternity….

There are some days – I wish I was a simpler person ….just some days...but then if I was – I would get quite bored with myself.

I am on a journey….we all are on a journey. Of course, life is a journey – it never really ends actually. We are beings who are continuously learning…We each have our very own “path” to travel.

I walk a very fine middle line and I feel like I am doing a tight rope dance at times…I may veer slightly to one side and then, so I don’t lose balance, I will lean towards the other….I never have completely went one way…And I don’t know if that is good…or bad.

…Is there really one right way to live our life – or are we meant to live with the path we have been given? What if that path we were given was meant to change? What if it wasn’t? Are we walking the right path that our creator wants us to?

We all want something to believe in – a higher power. Being a Christian, I believe in God – our Father who created us…I believe he is the master artist behind all the beauty in this world…. A fine painter that He is…I know He loves us unconditionally….

That is one path that I walk down my tight rope…

Then I have questions….and fears….I worry that the questions I have are somehow – wrong- to have….or if it means I am questioning my own faith…

I  am in love with nature…I don’t worship any of it, but when I am outdoors in the woods…I find peace…I feel closer to God….sometimes I feel closer to our creator in the deep of the woods than in a church (and then I wonder …is that okay? )

I love writing poetry and mini stories that deal with the “dark” side of things….But I always have my saying…”One sometimes has to walk through the darkness to reach the light…” Some may find that “darkness” taboo…or wonder how a Christian could write such things…But at one time or another – we all have experienced darkness in our lives…I write about that darkness for people to relate to…to know they aren’t alone…

It isn’t easy being a horror writer sometimes….But I feel that I have been directed to use my gift of writing to help “counsel” others….

And – is there really any “correct” type of Christian or religion ? No matter our religions – we all were made in the eye of a mighty creator….We weren’t evolved by some big bang that happened thousands of years ago ….And for humans to have such complex thoughts….for us to evolve and have compassion…to have feelings….TO me – that isn’t science….We are all masterpieces – a piece of artwork in the making with journeys to take…

Not only are we just human, but inside of each of us – is a soul that dwells which longs for a home after this one…an eternal home that we all hope to go to…(how can that be merely science?)….

And then there’s that word eternal…which sends me into another conundrum and another thought loop….(such as…what does eternity feel like  – or will we even feel eternity?)…

Some days – these thoughts are just looped together like this…and I will pull them apart, contemplate and seek to find answers…And I’ve only been doing this….for the majority of my life…

(It doesn’t help that we’ve had lots of rain the last few days with no sunshine)….That is how my mind usually gets here….

(End of thought loop).