Life on Pause: How could I have been so blind?

  As I continue to become more aware of exactly the situation I was in, I ask myself – how come I couldn’t see all of the signs before? I knew that things weren’t great, but I had convinced myself that I was over-reacting or that I was just sensitive – which he often toldContinue reading “Life on Pause: How could I have been so blind?”

Life on Pause: Searching for memories and the disassociation war.

  and my war with PTSD.  The other day, I got an offer from Shutterfly where I could save $20 -some Christmas in July thing…Well that prompted me to look through some really old photos – really old… Photos from over 10 years ago – when my daughter was just a toddler (she’s close toContinue reading “Life on Pause: Searching for memories and the disassociation war.”

Life on Pause: I was told that I was “Normal” today.

So, I am not crazy after-all. In fact, I am normal. And I am addressing the issues that I had faced… I am just a person experiencing the aftermath of being hurt…for so long. Anyone who has been in my shoes can agree that our fears and feelings can sometimes make us feel quite crazy.Continue reading “Life on Pause: I was told that I was “Normal” today.”

Life on Pause: The Truths and my Questions about Religion

You could say that I have been exploring and curious about religion for my entire life-  almost 35 years. When I was a child, I participated in various Vacation Bible School events and Sunday schools. I attended church camp for a few years when I was in high school too.My church sent me to aContinue reading “Life on Pause: The Truths and my Questions about Religion”

Life on Pause: Joy to the World

  Halloween has come and gone… The turkey has been ate and the leftovers have been fixed… So what comes  next? …Mistletoe and holly… Christmas spirit and silent nights… The holidays are upon us…again. Every year, as I get older, Christmas gets a little harder… The roughest Christmas was the first one after I lostContinue reading “Life on Pause: Joy to the World”

Starting something new….Fixing…broken?

After the Illinois budget hadn’t been passed for several weeks, I was laid off from a job I’d faithfully had for 12 years. I was laid off for a month. During that month, I applied for a job as an Administrative Aid at a nearby church….Although I did get called back to my job, IContinue reading “Starting something new….Fixing…broken?”

Life on Pause: Second-Guessing, pondering, dealing with change…. We aren’t promised tomorrow

Life is only as complicated as we make it. From what medium, James Van Praagh mentions, is that this is all one great big classroom where we all learn lessons. I think we all learn lessons every day. We as humans thirst for knowledge, validation and acceptance. Life can also be easy-depending on how weContinue reading “Life on Pause: Second-Guessing, pondering, dealing with change…. We aren’t promised tomorrow”

Life on Pause: Starting over and Disorientation…

Good news… I did get called back to work after being laid off for a month-although, Illinois still hasn’t passed a budget…I also had an interview at another possible job…. Two positives 🙂 In other news…. I still feel- conflicted. While I will be somewhat back to my “regularly scheduled program,” (work, newspaper meetings, churchContinue reading “Life on Pause: Starting over and Disorientation…”

Life on Pause: The Meaning of Life

Two of the most asked questions in our lives often are: “What is the meaning of life?” and “Why am I here?” It is amazing, how we are born into this world and with that first breath and outpouring cry, we begin the journey, that is only to end, years later…What in the world isContinue reading “Life on Pause: The Meaning of Life”

Life on Pause: Relationships

I am 34 years old – funny – i almost wrote 32… Time flies when you are having fun. Or was I having fun?… When you are a teenager, you think you know everything. Then you find out- you didn’t know anything at all. Once you hit your 20’s, you start going to the almightyContinue reading “Life on Pause: Relationships”